As my kids have gotten older, one of my favorite parts of traveling with them has been watching their personalities come to life.
When they were babies and young toddlers, planning trips mostly meant finding places that worked for little kids. We looked for playgrounds, easy walks, hands-on activities, and anywhere they could safely burn off some energy. At that age, their needs were fairly similar, and our focus was simply finding experiences the whole family could enjoy.
Now that they’re preschoolers, planning looks a little different.
While they both love to travel, they don’t always love the same parts of each trip. One might be most excited about sleeping in a train car, while the other remembers every waterfall and cave. They’re experiencing the same vacation, but through two completely different perspectives.
At first, I wondered if that would make planning family trips more complicated. Instead, I’ve found the opposite to be true.
I’ve realized that I don’t need to plan separate vacations or make every activity equally exciting for both kids. I just need to build trips with enough variety that each of them has moments they’ll be excited to remember.
If you travel with kids who have different personalities, here’s what has helped our family.
Start by Understanding What Each Child Enjoys
When people talk about kids with different personalities, they often picture one adventurous child and one cautious child, or one outgoing child and one shy child. While those differences certainly exist, they don’t have to be dramatic to shape the way your family travels.
It’s more helpful to think about what naturally captures each of my kids’ attention.
For example, our son lights up around trains, vehicles, and opportunities to be active. Staying overnight in a restored train car at The Hotel Chalet was one of the highlights of our road trip for him. Our daughter enjoyed the experience too, but not because it was a train. She was just as happy exploring the room, playing, and enjoying the excitement of staying somewhere new.
The same thing happens everywhere we travel. One child might want to race ahead to the next viewpoint, while the other stops every few minutes to collect rocks or watch a butterfly. Neither child is doing vacation “better”. They’re simply connecting with different parts of the experience.
Before you start planning your next trip, take a minute to think about what genuinely excites each of your children. Maybe one loves hands-on museums while another prefers being outdoors. Maybe one enjoys a specific activity while another is happiest with open space to run around.
Noticing those patterns can help you build a trip that includes something for everyone, without feeling like you’re planning two separate vacations.
Don’t Expect Every Activity to Be Every Child’s Favorite
As my kids’ personalities have become more apparent, I’ve also realized that not every activity has to become a favorite memory for both of them.
When we stayed at The Hotel Chalet in Chattanooga, our son couldn’t get enough of sleeping in a real train car. It was one of those experiences that perfectly matched his interests, and he talked about it long after we left. Our daughter had a wonderful time too, but the train itself wasn’t what made the experience fun for her.
The same thing happens on almost every trip. One child might spend weeks talking about a hike, while the other can’t stop telling people about the ice cream they had afterward. One remembers the boat ride, while the other remembers spotting wildlife on the shore.
That’s one of my favorite things about family travel.
Rather than trying to make every stop equally exciting for everyone, look at the trip as a whole. Did each child have moments they genuinely loved? Did everyone have opportunities to experience something that matched their interests? If the answer is yes, then the trip was a success.
Not every attraction needs to become everyone’s favorite memory. Family vacations are made up of dozens of little moments, and different moments will stand out to different people.
Build Trips That Include Different Types of Experiences
Instead of trying to find activities that appeal equally to every member of the family, I do my best to build variety into our itinerary.
That doesn’t mean planning every hour of the day. It simply means including a mix of experiences so everyone has opportunities to enjoy the trip in their own way.
One day might include a scenic hike, a picnic lunch, and time at a playground. Another day could involve a museum, a train ride, or exploring a small downtown area. Some activities naturally appeal to one child more than another, but over the course of a trip, that variety gives everyone opportunities to find something they love.
One thing I’ve noticed is that some of our family’s favorite memories happen in between the big attractions. Playing a game at our campsite, watching the kids explore unique accommodations, or eating ice cream after dinner often becomes just as meaningful as the activities we planned in advance.
You don’t have to make every activity equally exciting for every member of your family. Instead, aim to build a trip that includes different kinds of experiences, leaves room for unplanned moments, and gives each child the chance to create memories that are meaningful to them.
Give Kids the Freedom to Experience the Same Place Differently
One thing I’ve learned is that my kids don’t need to notice the same things for an experience to be meaningful.
As adults, it’s easy to point out what we think is the highlight of a destination. We get excited to show our kids the waterfall, the historic building, or the incredible view from the overlook. But sometimes they focus on something completely different.
I’ve watched one child become fascinated by a tiny frog while the other couldn’t stop talking about throwing a rock in the creek. Neither of those things was what I had planned to be the memorable part of the day, but that didn’t make their experiences any less special.
It’s been much more fun to let my kids discover places in their own way. Rather than constantly pointing out what they should be looking at, I try to ask open-ended questions instead.
- What was your favorite part today?
- Did anything surprise you?
- What would you want to do again?
Their answers often surprise me, and they remind me that children see the world very differently than adults do.
Giving your kids the freedom to experience the same place differently also takes some of the pressure off you as a parent. You don’t have to convince everyone that one attraction was amazing. You simply get to enjoy watching each child discover what makes it special to them.
Prepare for Different Needs Without Overcomplicating Your Trip
Recognizing your children’s different personalities doesn’t mean every part of your trip needs to be customized. In fact, a few small adjustments are usually enough.
If one child enjoys having a job, let them help navigate or carry the map. If another loves taking pictures, let them choose a few things to photograph throughout the day. One child may appreciate a little extra downtime back at the hotel, while another is ready to jump into the next adventure.
You can also think about the little comforts that help each child enjoy the trip. Maybe one likes listening to audiobooks during long drives while another prefers looking out the window. Maybe one needs an extra snack break or a favorite stuffed animal at bedtime.
None of those things require separate itineraries. They’re simply small ways to help each child feel comfortable and included.
The goal isn’t to plan two different vacations. It’s to understand your kids well enough that you can support each of them while still enjoying the trip together.
Family Travel Is Better Because Our Kids Are Different
If you had asked me a few years ago how I planned trips for my kids, I probably would have talked about finding toddler-friendly attractions or keeping a flexible schedule.
Now, I think about it a little differently.
As my kids have grown, one of my favorite parts of traveling has become watching them experience the same places in completely different ways. One notices things the other misses. One gets excited about something I never would have expected. Together, they help me see each destination through fresh eyes.
Your kids don’t have to love every activity equally. They don’t have to have the same favorite memories. They don’t even have to experience the trip in the same way.
After all, your family’s differences aren’t a hurdle to overcome. They’re part of what makes traveling together so rewarding.
Continue Planning Your Family Trip
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